The first time I think I heard about anxiety was in secondary school and I did not really understand what it meant. I did not really understand the difference between struggling with anxiety and simply feeling nervous and to me they seemed like the same thing. I never really gave it any real thought because I never thought it was something I needed to think about and there were so many misconceptions around it anyway that I simply ignored it.

It has been a while since I consistently blogged. I spent more than a year uploading every single Sunday of every week (with a few exceptions here and there), but somewhere along the lines, things got hard and I felt a bit lost. I stopped doing as much of what I loved. Even at points where I wanted to blog, I did not really know what to say. 

Over various points, I have thought about what influences how well you can do in something and what you can achieve. I was thinking more particularly about all those moments where it all seems undoable and you want to give up on what you are working towards. The really hard points where you can lose the reason why you started in the first place and it all feels uphill. The defining moments where if you choose to carry on, it could be the difference between you achieving something or not achieving it.

I am not really sure what to make of 2021. This year honestly felt like the second part of 2020 and was hard. My 2021 was two halves. The first half was restrictions - lockdowns and very few places open. It was this half, where I almost lost all sense of myself, being mainly in my room. Then there was the second half, where things started opening up again and I was able to feel a little more like myself being able to get involved in more. Either way, 2021 taught me a lot.