I turn 20 today- it does not seem real and although it is my birthday, it doesn't quite feel like it. I used to think that turning 20 was a lot, and even though it really isn't old, it feels old to me. It really goes to show how everything is all about perspective because in the grand scheme of things, I am still very young.

2020 has definitely thrown a lot of new situations at everyone that we did not expect to experience. It might mean that plans we originally had have gone out the window. I have had various realisations recently - all of which are not what I originally had in mind. It has been a little scary because I am going against the norm, or a case of this just is not the circumstances I would thought I would be in. But, I know that I am not the only one and that COVID-19 has changed things for everyone. Whilst we are isolated, we do have a common hardship we are all going through- a very rapidly changing world and environment.

Crying. It is something we all do. It can be from happiness, relief, sadness, stress. Yet there seems to be such a stigma around what for me shows the most human side in us. I always think of crying as the body’s way of expressing a feeling when you simply cannot put it into words. But, especially when it is out of sadness/ being overwhelmed, crying becomes something that often makes people uncomfortable. Something to avoid at all costs.

With the announcement of a second lockdown in many countries, it is safe to say that there are a lot of things going through everyone’s minds. At the moment, it is so easy to get caught up in everything and feel like we’re constantly on go - constantly worrying. That everything is just too fast and we can’t keep up. Lockdown is challenging enough and we are all in different circumstances fighting our own battles. Switching off can be difficult and somehow I still feel the same amount of pressure to carry on as if everything is normal when it really isn’t.

 

Bullet journaling was admittedly something I first heard about through the internet, especially when it became more of a craze and popular thing. I had no idea what it was beforehand. For those who may not be aware, bullet journaling is a method of personal organisation all in one notebook and something you can put as much or as little effort in as you like. It is a way of organising everything in your life - that can be from books you want to read, to deadlines. I was initially unsure whether it was something I could incorporate into my life. One Google of bullet journals will show you works of art and very intricate designs. It can be quite daunting and seem very impractical as you often get very pretty and time-consuming spreads. In the last year or so, however, it has become one of my favourite ways of organising myself. I have loved how adaptable and useful it has become for me and I wanted to share why I think this is something anyone can incorporate in their lifestyle - how it can allow you to feel more put together. 

Most people who know me well, know that I tend to overthink everything. I don’t think that overthinking is necessarily always a bad thing- sometimes it can allow you to be more reflective. However, it can mean that it is difficult to switch off, especially if this is something you find yourself doing a lot.

Talking to yourself often seems to be presented as a sign of you losing it. Whether that is my case and there is still time to save me, I don’t know. But, jokes aside. Voicing my thoughts out loud has actually really helped me. I did some googling and I’m not the only one- there are plenty of people who find talking to themselves helpful with a common theme of not doing so in public to avoid embarrassment. I did some research and it turns out psychology does back me and it is beneficial (so long as you are treating yourself with respect).

I’m always on the lookout for signs that I need to take a break or pause. Spotting the warning signs early on can be so beneficial and avoid burnout or feeling very overwhelmed afterwards. Over the years, these are the signs I’ve spotted in my case that indicate that things are not okay, or at least not the way they should be and I need to take time for myself. Signs will look slightly different for everyone, but if you resonate with any of these, first of all, I am sending you virtual hugs and secondly, please take time to look after yourself. You matter - don’t be afraid to reach out if you need support.

Social media is a powerful tool. It is a pretty big part of blogging for me as it allows me to share my work with more people. Connect with others. I do think social media can be used positively. Used positively, social media can contribute to good vibes and be uplifting. However, I have always had a love-hate relationship with it because whilst it can be used positively, it is really easy to fall down a rabbit hole and suddenly, it is not so good for mental health.

COVID-19 has impacted everyone in some way and as a law student, I’ve been no exception and my life has definitely changed. Whilst I found isolation and lockdown changes hard, lockdown did teach me various life lessons, such as slowing down.

In September of 2019, I moved out for the first time for university. I know a lot of people say it, but moving out has taught me a lot, especially about myself. It’s safe to say that I’ve grown a lot in a very short space of time - the person I was when I first moved out and the person I am now is different. I’ve genuinely learnt things about myself that I otherwise wouldn’t have learnt. Moving out changed me by teaching me important life lessons. If you are moving out for the first time, it will most likely change you too. 

I have recently become a lot more aware of what causes me to feel lonely - for me, I have found it is that I have been in a lot of one-sided friendships and trying to give a lot of myself to others without it being reciprocal. This lack of balance leaves me feeling like no one really cares when I am going through a difficult time. Reaching out to people generally on a frequent basis and not getting that back when I am struggling makes me feel lonely. 

I have found this year and generally this academic year difficult for multiple reasons- a lot in my life changed quite quickly and I was forced to adapt to changes (some not so nice or ideal in a short space of time). As a result, I have been reflecting more on what being strong means to me. I think it can generally be quite easy to have this idea that being strong means never feeling weak, or never feeling like a mess and always feeling like you have everything under control. This year more than ever has taught me that is definitely not the case (or at least that is not the way I interpret it). I want to talk about in this post how this year has redefined my idea of what I feel strength is.

This is a little of an update on my post on growing your self-confidence (this link opens in a new tab)- this will make more sense if you read that post first. Whilst I have come a long way from my 14-year-old insecure self, I think that self-confidence is often presented as a result, rather than the ongoing journey it is and so I wanted to compile some more thoughts from my original post. 

Like most people, I feel I have had my fair share of coming across unkind people. Individuals that want to tear you down. It is inevitable - not everyone will like you and some people choose to consciously make or try and make others feel small. Over the years, I have found different ways of approaching and dealing with it and I am going to share what has helped me the most. This post is in relation to my previous post on bullying and are some of the things I incorporated into my life to deal with it better.

Bullying- something I realised I've experienced, but haven’t spoken about on here. I wanted to create a post with hope that maybe it can help someone else or can be relatable. I hope that to those that can relate that this brings comfort that you are not alone.

I have many a time in the past heard comments about me behind my back or seen things said about me on social media- recently I saw some tweets about me. I had 2 options- to reply back or to ignore it and carry on with my life. I chose to move on and carry on. Why? Because there’s a real power in not retaliating and just walking away sometimes. Realising that there are some battles that aren’t worth the time.

I’ve always been someone that likes to keep lots of small which to everyone else is insignificant things that remind me of certain events, like for example tickets from planes, trains, an event I went to that I really enjoyed or really meant something to me. They help form really nice memories, but collecting small ‘memories’ as I call it becomes a bit of a problem when you end up with lots of tickets and items and nowhere to put them. This is why I turned to scrapbooking. In this post, I hope to give you some ideas of what you could include in your scrapbook and create a book that can be a beautiful hub of your memories.

Before I start writing the rest of this post, I just want to say that don't disagree with all aspects of minimalism - there are values to it which I think are positive. Also, I respect the way everyone chooses to live their life.  For anyone that might not be aware of the concept, although I am sure you have probably heard it before: a minimalist lifestyle is having only what you need (both materially and can also be applied mentally). There are definitely benefits to it, but it is not for everyone.

I do want to make sure that my content is varied so not everything will be in relation to this pandemic, but as something that we are all affected by at the moment, I also want to be creating content that feels relevant. Relatable content that may bring some sort of comfort during what is a difficult time.

Being in isolation is definitely challenging - as a person who sees myself as an ambivert (both an introvert and extrovert) not being able to surround myself with people, especially friends has not been something I have found easy. But, being at home more and the world having pretty much stopped has given me more time to think - to reflect, to pause. Here are some of the thoughts and things I would say I have learnt.

I have a lot of time to think and reflect recently. That has made me much more aware of my inner dialogue. It has also made me aware of some thoughts I sometimes catch myself having that I need to change. This is not an exhaustive list- these are just some of the things that I have found I have told myself (over the years and generally) and isn't helpful. Some I have already changed my outlook to- others are still a working progress.

Feeling like you aren't making the most of life? I have had this feeling recently, especially where I have had lots happening, which has meant that I have felt I can't make the most of everything. This has surprisingly come almost with a feeling of guilt so I am here to rationalise it. Hopefully, it will be helpful to someone else that may have had or is going through a similar experience.

It is no secret that things aren't the easiest at the moment (one look at the news along with whatever you may have going on in your personal life is enough to realise that). It can be really easy to lose hope or feel stuck. I am not going to state that we are currently in an ideal situation - we aren't. But, at the moment, perspective and the way we choose to see things is so important and can massively change the way we feel.

One of the feelings I have typically found the hardest to cope with are those of guilt. When you feel awful you have hurt someone (unintentionally) or made a bad decision. But, over the years I have learnt to better cope with it and accept the fact that we all make mistakes.

Just because life is sometimes not so glamorous. It is adapted a little from a letter I wrote to myself. Couldn't post at the time because it was too recent, but it's here now with the hope that it might provide some comfort to someone who needs it.

It is so easy to bottle everything up and not share something. Because it can be so much easier to answer I'm fine when asked how you are doing rather than actually explain why you might not feel so good.  I've been there and I am sure others have too - where you don't want to explain how you feel because opening up can be scary and you are not quite sure how people will take it. However, if there is something I have learnt from life, it is that sharing how you feel and your problems is so important and if this can encourage or help one person open up then I'll be happy. Below I try and tackle the obstacles that can make you feel nervous about talking to others when life is a little difficult and the reasons why you can still share how you feel and why it is so essential.

I guess this is a little late considering we’re already halfway through February. I’ve never done a month in review. But, January was a difficult month for me and so I wanted to document some of the things I’ve learnt this month, as it is when you go through difficult moments that you learn and you grow as a person. These are things I can hopefully take forward for the rest of this year.

Being present and able to take things in is so valuable. But, in a world with social media and technology, it has become so easy to be there physically, but not mentally. Below are some things I like to do to ground myself a little and make sure I’m living a real life- to make sure I am 'living in the moment'.

I have often thought about how skilled someone is or clever someone is, and recently thought about how a lot of the time it can be really easy to get carried away thinking how amazing other people are and forget how incredible you are too - that you are valued. So this post is on recognising your worth too.

Now I'll be honest writing about this does make me feel a little nervous - partly because it is a taboo subject in society and I don't want to make anybody feel uncomfortable- in fact, I hope that this will have the opposite effect and maybe encourage you to think about it in a different way. But, the fact conversations like these are usually avoided is exactly why it needs to be spoken about more - to normalise it. So I am writing about my take on it, which is much more about loving your body and being healthy rather weighing a particular number of KG.

I think it's fair to say we all go through those moments where we feel we are all over the place and don’t feel like we have anything in control. With this, rather than how much control you have over the situation, it is much more about how you feel about the situation. A lot of feeling like you are a mess is how you perceive yourself and your surroundings - or that is what I have found anyway. Here are some of the things that have helped me feel a little bit more put together when I really was not feeling it.

I like to think I’m a person that doesn’t care what other people think and isn’t affected by it - whilst I have definitely got better with time at not focussing on what other people think, I can’t say I'm immune to what others say. I have underestimated before the impact that side comments can have over time. At first, you can shake them off, but if you hear them enough times you do begin to believe it. Realising that is what has led me to notice how important your surroundings are and just how much of an impact they can have on you. Here is what I have done or found works to keep your environment positive and "protect your energy and vibe".