Forgiving yourself

by - March 08, 2020

Pale blue graphic with gold stars

One of the feelings I have typically found the hardest to cope with are those of guilt. When you feel awful you have hurt someone (unintentionally) or made a bad decision. But, over the years I have learnt to better deal with it and accept the fact that we all make mistakes.

At some point, it is inevitable that we let someone down, disappoint or hurt them. It can be really difficult to deal with, especially because you can feel that they have given you their trust. However, you like everyone else are human. You will make mistakes, you will sometimes act in a way that you regret later. It happens to all of us. Making a mistake and accidentally hurting someone is not something you should feel bad about forever.

If you have done everything you could to make it right, have apologised and genuinely hurt someone unintentionally, but they will not forgive you, it is time to let it go. It is on them and not you anymore. We all make mistakes. Someone who is not willing to accept that you will sometimes get it wrong and will hold you to it forever is not someone worth being friends with or even having in your life. If they carry on trying to make you feel bad for something you have already apologised for and tried to make it up to them, then it could be a sign you need to distance yourself from them. No one can claim to be perfect and say that they have never done something they wish they hadn't done. So don't hold yourself to an unrealistic standard.

You deserve it just for yourself. Feeling guilty all the time is no way to live. For your own inner peace, it is important you see your mistakes as life lessons. Something to learn, not to hold on to and feel awful about. In the exact same way, you may have unintentionally hurt someone, sometimes people have unintentionally hurt you. So don't be so harsh on yourself because it happens to all of us.

Letting people down is for me one of the most difficult feelings to deal with. But, we are not perfect and we will make mistakes - that is OK. We were born to be real, not perfect.

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