I do want to make sure that my content is varied so not everything will be in relation to this pandemic, but as something that we are all affected by at the moment, I also want to be creating content that feels relevant. Relatable content that may bring some sort of comfort during what is a difficult time.
Being in isolation is definitely challenging - as a person who sees myself as an ambivert (both an introvert and extrovert) not being able to surround myself with people, especially friends has not been something I have found easy. But, being at home more and the world having pretty much stopped has given me more time to think - to reflect, to pause. Here are some of the thoughts and things I would say I have learnt.
I have a lot of time to think and reflect recently. That has made me much more aware of my inner dialogue. It has also made me aware of some thoughts I sometimes catch myself having that I need to change. This is not an exhaustive list- these are just some of the things that I have found I have told myself (over the years and generally) and isn't helpful. Some I have already changed my outlook to- others are still a working progress.
Helping others and looking after yourself can be a very fine balance. It can be very easy to get caught up in someone else's battle so much that you neglect how you feel and forget that it has become part of your own. So I'm writing this based on my own experience hoping it might help someone else. Of course, this depends on just how much the person you are helping is struggling and can vary depending on the seriousness of the situation.
Feeling like you aren't making the most of life? I have had this feeling recently, especially where I have had lots happening, which has meant that I have felt I can't make the most of everything. This has surprisingly come almost with a feeling of guilt so I am here to rationalise it. Hopefully, it will be helpful to someone else that may have had or is going through a similar experience.
It is no secret that things aren't the easiest at the moment (one look at the news along with whatever you may have going on in your personal life is enough to realise that). It can be really easy to lose hope or feel stuck. I am not going to state that we are currently in an ideal situation - we aren't. But, at the moment, perspective and the way we choose to see things is so important and can massively change the way we feel.
There are times when it is obvious that someone is trying to control you. Other times, it is more subtle. It can be disguised as someone being “nice” or just “trying to be kind”. It is so easy in these circumstances to feel guilty and feel like you are falling down a rabbit hole, but can’t stop it. I am going to specifically focus on the more subtle way of manipulation - where it is disguised as “kindness”.
One of the feelings I have typically found the hardest to cope with are those of guilt. When you feel awful you have hurt someone (unintentionally) or made a bad decision. But, over the years I have learnt to better cope with it and accept the fact that we all make mistakes.
Just because life is sometimes not so glamorous. It is adapted a little from a letter I wrote to myself. Couldn't post at the time because it was too recent, but it's here now with the hope that it might provide some comfort to someone who needs it.
It is so easy to bottle everything up and not share something. Because it can be so much easier to answer I'm fine when asked how you are doing rather than actually explain why you might not feel so good. I've been there and I am sure others have too - where you don't want to explain how you feel because opening up can be scary and you are not quite sure how people will take it. However, if there is something I have learnt from life, it is that sharing how you feel and your problems is so important and if this can encourage or help one person open up then I'll be happy. Below I try and tackle the obstacles that can make you feel nervous about talking to others when life is a little difficult and the reasons why you can still share how you feel and why it is so essential.
I guess this is a little late considering we’re already halfway through February. I’ve never done a month in review. But, January was a difficult month for me and so I wanted to document some of the things I’ve learnt this month, as it is when you go through difficult moments that you learn and you grow as a person. These are things I can hopefully take forward for the rest of this year.
Being present and able to take things in is so valuable. But, in a world with social media and technology, it has become so easy to be there physically, but not mentally. Below are some things I like to do to ground myself a little and make sure I’m living a real life- to make sure I am 'living in the moment'.
I have often thought about how skilled someone is or clever someone is, and recently thought about how a lot of the time it can be really easy to get carried away thinking how amazing other people are and forget how incredible you are too - that you are valued. So this post is on recognising your worth too.
Feeling like an emotional sponge - I have been there too. Where it feels like you're always listening to others problems so much, you're engulfed by them. Almost like other's problems have become another problem to add to your own. I am writing this as a little self-care reminder, for myself and for anyone who needs to hear it. Because it can be really easy to get dragged into other people's issues when you are just trying to be a good friend and not even realise just how much of an impact those people and your surroundings are having on you. It can be hard to distinguish when it is important for you step away and when you need to be there for someone because they require support.
Now I'll be honest writing about this does make me feel a little nervous - partly because it is a taboo subject in society and I don't want to make anybody feel uncomfortable- in fact, I hope that this will have the opposite effect and maybe encourage you to think about it in a different way. But, the fact conversations like these are usually avoided is exactly why it needs to be spoken about more - to normalise it. So I am writing about my take on it, which is much more about loving your body and being healthy rather weighing a particular number of KG.
I think it's fair to say we all go through those moments where we feel we are all over the place and don’t feel like we have anything in control. With this, rather than how much control you have over the situation, it is much more about how you feel about the situation. A lot of feeling like you are a mess is how you perceive yourself and your surroundings - or that is what I have found anyway. Here are some of the things that have helped me feel a little bit more put together when I really was not feeling it.
I like to think I’m a person that doesn’t care what other people think and isn’t affected by it - whilst I have definitely got better with time at not focussing on what other people think, I can’t say I'm immune to what others say. I have underestimated before the impact that side comments can have over time. At first, you can shake them off, but if you hear them enough times you do begin to believe it. Realising that is what has led me to notice how important your surroundings are and just how much of an impact they can have on you. Here is what I have done or found works to keep your environment positive and "protect your energy and vibe".
Every new year, I sit and think about my aims for the year. Every single year there is this pressure to set this enormous goal and what you’re going to achieve and how suddenly, you are going to become a whole new person. Like from December 31st to the 1st of January, you are going to wake up and the person you were yesterday is a distant memory. If that is what you are into, it is fine - if it works for you then go for it. But for me the whole "new year, new you" doesn’t quite do it. I like the opportunity for a fresh start. I am all for that - having a fresh slate and a new opportunity to go for what you want. But, this idea that because it is a new year that suddenly, you’re going to completely transform, is not for me.
I recently turned 19 (in December) and I just wanted to document a little on how it feels or at least part of the journey on growing older. This is a little reflection on what I have learnt over the years and this will of course inevitably grow as I get older.
We all have those moments. Sometimes we just feel down and we can't explain it. We have an empty feeling we just can't shake off or seem to feel miserable for no particular reason. It happens to the best of us. Below are some things that have helped me when I'm feeling down.