Trusting yourself

by - July 01, 2019

Something that perhaps took me longer to realise than it should have is the fact that at the end of the day you are the one person you can trust to make sure what you want to get done gets done. People are not always reliable and there will come a point when someone will let you down. You may let yourself down at some point too - and that is normal and is okay. We are all learning. However, the difference is that you can control your actions, but you cannot control the actions of others. 

I used to think you always need someone to rely on and someone to trust. I have found, like many others, that even people I thought I could trust have let me down. I’m not writing this as a don’t trust anyone ever again, never take other people’s help or never tell anyone anything - in fact, you should share your experiences with others and how you feel; it is important so you don’t feel alone. What I am saying is, you don’t need to always rely on others because you can rely on yourself. You can be there for you too. It is hard at first to completely trust yourself and it doesn’t come naturally (at least not for most people). But, I do believe that trusting yourself is an important part of self-love and building your self-confidence.

Things you can do to trust yourself more:

Change your mindset. I know this can be incredibly hard and will not change overnight. But it holds so much power. Believe that you are more capable than you think you are. Because you really are if you’re willing to try. You shouldn’t be the one that limits yourself. There are enough people who will already try and do it and society literally profits of insecurities - just take a look at the beauty industry- the variety of companies selling weight loss products that are unhealthy are profiting of body confidence insecurities. You aren’t bad at something, you just aren’t good at it yet. What you can’t do is what you haven’t set your mind yet on achieving. Realising that you can count on yourself, because if you tell yourself you will accomplish something and take the steps, you will. That isn’t to say that it will always be the first time around and that you’ll never ‘fail’. But, it is liberating realising that on your own you are enough and that you can rely on yourself. It is a mindset that encourages you to love yourself and trust your abilities.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes. I get it, it is scary to sometimes get it wrong and it can feel like there is no way to bounce back from certain situations if you get it wrong. There almost always is though. Getting it wrong and moving forward is what helps you trust yourself in the long run. Why? It is because you will realise that you can come back from those situations too. 

Remind yourself of the times it went well when you are doubting yourself. Even if you feel like you really have nothing (which I promise you do), you have survived 100% of your worst days. That in itself is a reason to trust yourself more. Even in moments where it was really difficult, you pulled through- you are still here carrying on. 

I really do believe that everyone has a particular skill they are gifted at - one where if you commit to it and put in the effort you can excel. Maybe it might not be academic and getting good exam results, which is what society enforces is most useful (not true). All skills have value and you have something unique to offer to the world - after all, if you are yourself, no one is exactly like you. If you feel you do not, you may have not found it yet or are yet to reach an incredible moment. 

Trusting yourself more is always an ongoing process - there will be moments of doubt and insecurity- it is part of the process. It takes time and shifting the way you think - turning more self-destructive thoughts into "I can do this". You may want to read my blog post on growing your confidence here. But even at just the young age of 18, learning to trust myself in the last 2 years, has been incredibly freeing, and filled me with a bigger sense of self-worth (not in a cocky way) and happiness (click here for my post on using social media positively). 

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