Journey of achieving a more positive mindset

by - January 25, 2019

I wrote this for this blog (linked here) as a guest blogger, but thought I would post it on my blog too.

Sometimes you can be your own worst enemy and the things you tell yourself can hold you back. Changing a little how you view things can have a huge impact on how you feel and your motivation. Sometimes it can even impact the result. Here are a few things to help you think and feel a little more positive. The first thing to acknowledge with this is that it does not happen overnight and it is impossible to be positive all the time. It is normal to have more down days and not always feel positive. Achieving a more positive mindset happens gradually and it does not mean being positive all of the time, but having a more positive outlook to things most of the time

I feel like every time I come across a post on this most people state daily affirmations as their first tip to being more positive. Whilst I have nothing against that, and it can work for some, for me I find it doesn’t work as well. Repeating something to myself when I do not believe it doesn’t change my perception on something. 

The first step in achieving a more positive mindset is being more mindful of what it is that is causing you to think more negatively and not feel so good. Is it your own insecurities and self confidence? Or is it something happening in your life making you feel more negative?  

Reflect on what it is exactly that is making you feel more negative about yourself and your surroundings. Once you have realised that you can slowly work on overcoming it, do things to change it and shift your perspective. If you’re just not feeling great generally, go and do something you love and take some time out for yourself. Sometimes not doing enough of what you love can cause you to feel more negative. Remember that no feeling is permanent and so just because you may be feeling more down now, does not mean you will always feel like this. Start slowly and when you get thoughts of things being too hard, remind yourself of how you’ve managed to do hard things before and how everything has a journey and the more you practice the better you will be. Trying to change habits drastically is unrealistic. When you have a more negative thought, think about what you do have as opposed to what you don’t. Think of everything you can be thankful for. When you are going through the worst moments thinking of the present and what you do have in this very moment can instantly put more negative ideas and thoughts into a more positive light. 

Be mindful of what you tell yourself. This is one of the hardest things. I know that me saying this isn’t enough to magically change the way you think about yourself, but you have the power to change it gradually. Don’t focus on your mistakes - think of them as a learning path. When you begin to feel like you are belittling yourself, think of all the moments you have been proud of yourself and think of things going well - exactly as you would want them to go. 

People. Sometimes it is difficult to realise just how much of an impact a person can have on you. Surround yourself with people that encourage you, lift you up and motivate you. Leave behind negative people and their energy - you always have the freedom to leave a situation and putting your mental health first and prioritising positivity is nothing bad and is healthy for you.

Comparing yourself to others. One of the things that will make you feel more negative and inadequate about yourself is comparing yourself to others - usually these comparisons are to people we perceive to be better than ourselves. This again is something easier said than done, but by not comparing yourself to others, you will find yourself feeling and thinking a lot more positively. When you end up comparing yourself to someone else, remember that you only see of someone whether it be on social media and even in real life what they want to put out of themselves and often we compare what we see on the outside of someone to the ways in which we are struggling. Remember you are unique and your own self with your own abilities and something special to bring to the table. When you think about comparing yourself to someone supposedly ‘better’, think about how we are each on our own journey. There are many different paths you can take, which will take you where you need to and want to be. If you do think about comparing, compare yourself to your previous self and see how much you’ve grown. Where you used to be and how far you have come and you will find yourself feeling and thinking much more positively.

We have a tendency to think about the more negative things. It is human nature. Someone can say lots of nice and kind things to us and we will remember the one nasty thing they said. Fake it till you make it. You may have a more negative mindset, but repeatedly make an effort to think about more positive things such as kind things people had said to you and you will find eventually you will believe it. Similarly, sometimes we tend to imagine things will go and be worse than they can turn out to be. Walk in with an open mind. Things are what you make them. When thinking about the future, rather than stressing about the things that can go wrong, think about everything that can go right or the possibilities open to you. Think about how you still have in this very moment, the ability to change it. It is partly in your control. You can still make things amazing and incredible. A bad day or a few mistakes don’t prevent that from happening.

At the end of the day, all of us are on our own journey and path to positive thinking and ultimately something that will make us happy. Don’t feel frustrated if you sometimes do get negative thoughts - it happens to all of us. Having a positive mindset isn’t about toxic positivity and positivity that doesn’t allow us to feel negative emotions. It is more about learning to see things in a better light whilst acknowledging sometimes things go wrong and we will not always feel happy. You have the power to change at any moment you wish and change the direction and way things are going for you and you can change more negative thoughts into positive ones.

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