Finding out the people that are really there for you is something that I think we all go through and often it is when you are going through a hard time that you find who is really there to stay and your real friend. There is a saying that goes that you can count 'real' friends on the fingers of your hand and I’ve come to realise that it really is true. Some people may not call people who aren't true friends, friends at all- I use the word friends because they are still people I enjoy spending time with and care about, they just aren't people I can count on when push comes to shove.
Having moved to a new city for university recently, identity and where I’m from is a subject I find myself talking about quite a lot. Meeting new people inherently involves presenting yourself and your identity (or parts of your identity). This has made it more obvious to me how identity is not something simple and there are many dimensions to it, which can sometimes be difficult to convey to people (especially someone you have just met or when you have a short period of time). This can sometimes leave you feeling a little lost or like you are not being true to yourself.
I always find these posts really interesting to read and it is a nice opportunity to reflect on what I have learnt and the different ways I've grown. So here is what I would tell my younger self.
It is not new that there are unrealistic beauty standards set in the media, especially for women. This is particularly highlighted on social media - from photoshopped models to a lack of variety of body shapes and sizes and representation in terms of skin colour.
After taking the Harry Potter sorting quiz various times after not expecting to be sorted into Gryffindor (yes I guess I betrayed the sorting hat as you aren't meant to do that oops) and the Buzzfeed quiz with all the official Pottermore questions, it struck me how I was put in all the houses but Slytherin. On the official website, I somehow seemed to end up with Gryffindor the most. Buzzfeed, in contrast, seemed certain that I was a Ravenclaw.
In so many places, I have come across the importance of 'balance' - having a 'balanced' diet, a 'balance' between social life and work life and more generally the balance of sleep, social life and work. Whilst of course it is important that we are being careful not to overdo one and therefore burn out, I have come to realise that using this word can be a little misleading. When you think of balance, you think of equal. Yet when it comes to life, it's very difficult that you are going to get everything exactly equal.