Like most people, I feel I have had my fair share of coming across unkind people. Individuals that want to tear you down. It is inevitable - not everyone will like you and some people choose to consciously make or try and make others feel small. Over the years, I have found different ways of approaching and dealing with it and I am going to share what has helped me the most. This post is in relation to my previous post on bullying and are some of the things I incorporated into my life to deal with it better.
Bullying is something I realised I've experienced, but haven’t spoken about on here. I wanted to create a post with hope that maybe it can help someone else, can be relatable or start a conversation about it. I hope for those of you that can relate, that this brings comfort to you and reminds you that you are not alone in your experience.
I like to think I am a person that isn’t bothered by things, that can always move on. But, I can admit it’s often small gestures that I grow to really appreciate in people. The absence of this can sometimes upset me, or even sometimes little things, seemingly insignificant to others can annoy me. I guess we all have certain things that can bother us. This can sometimes lead to being labelled as “too sensitive”. I have found that often this involves negative connotations- the why can’t she control her emotions or why is she even getting upset? However, in my opinion, this doesn’t have to and shouldn’t necessarily be the case.
I’m definitely guilty of being one of those people who feel like they constantly have to be doing something. I have to be working towards something and doing nothing usually makes me feel guilty - guilty that I should be doing more or working towards something.
I used to see growing up as just getting older- little (and by little I mean when I was a child) me did not see it as anything else. It was just the excitement of being able to do more. Now as an older individual, I see that growing up is so much more than getting older: it is change; in your identity, in your life, discovering new things. Sometimes it is pain in order to learn. It is getting lost and finding your way again.
I think there’s a real tendency in society to put things off until we feel ‘ready’ or until there’s a better moment. I was recently thinking about moments I’ve really enjoyed or something I was proud of myself for and found that in most of these cases I didn’t feel as ‘ready’ as I thought I would, but I went ahead and did it anyway. That either allowed for self-growth or just for spontaneous moments that make life fun.
Finding my own voice and realising what I stand for was something that took me a while and I think is always an ongoing process. Writing this blog in many ways has helped me find my voice and has given me a platform to share things that are important to me. Learning to utilise it and discovering what I believed in has been one of the biggest things in boosting my confidence and self-esteem, which at one point in my life was very low. Hopefully, this can help someone on their journey to discover their own voice.
I’ve always been someone that likes to keep lots of small which to everyone else is insignificant things that remind me of certain events, like for example tickets from planes, trains, an event I went to that I really enjoyed or really meant something to me. They help form really nice memories, but collecting small ‘memories’ as I call it becomes a bit of a problem when you end up with lots of tickets and items and nowhere to put them. This is why I turned to scrapbooking. In this post, I hope to give you some ideas of what you could include in your scrapbook and create a book that can be a beautiful hub of your memories.
Living minimally seems to have become a lot bigger recently, especially across social media. After coming across a lot of content on minimalism, I want to demonstrate why a minimalist lifestyle is not as great as it may seem at first sight. Although a minimalist lifestyle may work for some people and I have no problem with those who choose to lead a minimalist lifestyle, minimalism also presents problems that often get ignored.
I do want to make sure that my content is varied so not everything will be in relation to this pandemic, but as something that we are all affected by at the moment, I also want to be creating content that feels relevant. Relatable content that may bring some sort of comfort during what is a difficult time.
Being in isolation is definitely challenging - as a person who sees myself as an ambivert (both an introvert and extrovert) not being able to surround myself with people, especially friends has not been something I have found easy. But, being at home more and the world having pretty much stopped has given me more time to think - to reflect, to pause. Here are some of the thoughts and things I would say I have learnt.
I have a lot of time to think and reflect recently. That has made me much more aware of my inner dialogue. It has also made me aware of some thoughts I sometimes catch myself having that I need to change. This is not an exhaustive list- these are just some of the things that I have found I have told myself (over the years and generally) and isn't helpful. Some I have already changed my outlook to- others are still a working progress.
Helping others and looking after yourself can be a very fine balance. It can be very easy to get caught up in someone else's battle so much that you neglect how you feel and forget that it has become part of your own. So I'm writing this based on my own experience hoping it might help someone else. Of course, this depends on just how much the person you are helping is struggling and can vary depending on the seriousness of the situation.
Feeling like you aren't making the most of life? I have had this feeling recently, especially where I have had lots happening, which has meant that I have felt I can't make the most of everything. This has surprisingly come almost with a feeling of guilt so I am here to rationalise it. Hopefully, it will be helpful to someone else that may have had or is going through a similar experience.
It is no secret that things aren't the easiest at the moment (one look at the news along with whatever you may have going on in your personal life is enough to realise that). It can be really easy to lose hope or feel stuck. I am not going to state that we are currently in an ideal situation - we aren't. But, at the moment, perspective and the way we choose to see things is so important and can massively change the way we feel.
There are times when it is obvious that someone is trying to control you. Other times, it is more subtle. It can be disguised as someone being “nice” or just “trying to be kind”. It is so easy in these circumstances to feel guilty and feel like you are falling down a rabbit hole, but can’t stop it. I am going to specifically focus on the more subtle way of manipulation - where it is disguised as “kindness”.
One of the feelings I have typically found the hardest to cope with are those of guilt. When you feel awful you have hurt someone (unintentionally) or made a bad decision. But, over the years I have learnt to better cope with it and accept the fact that we all make mistakes.
Just because life is sometimes not so glamorous. It is adapted a little from a letter I wrote to myself. Couldn't post at the time because it was too recent, but it's here now with the hope that it might provide some comfort to someone who needs it.