Journey of growing more comfortable in your own skin

by - December 13, 2017

Confidence and who you are- the answer so many people look for. Maybe it would be easier if we just start by accepting the fact that no one has exactly pinpointed who they are and we are consistently growing and learning new things about ourselves. Don't be harsh on yourself because you don't have everything figured out. Life is unpredictable and the truth is no-one does... :)

Feeling comfortable in your own skin definitely is something that comes with time, but I feel it also comes the moment that you begin to evaluate and realise what your values are and what you stand for (that is not to say it won't change) and try to be the best person you can be in line with your values and things you hold important. When you begin to live your life more in line with your own beliefs and what you feel strongly about, you begin to feel more confident in who you are as you feel more accomplished. But that doesn't mean not being able to make mistakes. Everyone makes them and it's OK- it is how we learn after all.

Stop caring so much about other opinions. This is so much easier said than done and it takes time to get into the mindset where you can just let other opinions slip by you. It's human nature to care- and we all care to a certain extent- it is only natural.  But, there are always going to be rumours or ideas spreading around about what you did or didn't say and supposedly who you are or aren't. Start by remembering that just because someone says something about you doesn't mean it's true. Always remember what people say about you is a reflection on who they are as a person, not you. It is impossible to please absolutely everyone so just try and be the best version of yourself. The right people will come to you when you are yourself. 

Celebrate small successes - if you have done something that scared you, no matter how big or small, take a moment and acknowledge it. It is so easy to compare it to what other people would think of it, but that is irrelevant. We all have unique things we find hard. Small steps are still progress. If it was something outside of your comfort zone, that is progress. It is taking those small steps that add up later and take you to a place where you can feel much more confident about yourself.

Mindset - it can be difficult to change and will not change overnight. But, instead of telling yourself, I am not going to do this, I would never be good enough, there will be people better than me, change the way you look at it. Think, what have I got to lose? If I am told no, I will be in the exact same situation I am now. If I don't try I will never know. Think, I may be good at it, I just haven't given myself the chance, and I can improve or achieve whatever I set my mind to. If it is something where you are not quite in the place that you want to be, it is something you are not good at yet, but will be eventually. 

To all those people trying to bring you down- don't let them win! I always found people being spiteful or negative comments people made about me to be an influence on my self-confidence. But, just because someone labels you as something does not mean it is true. Learn to realise you can rise above people who bring you down. Show them how HAPPY you are,  how what they try and do doesn't affect you. To that person who told you you couldn't do it or aren't good enough - use it as a motivation to prove them wrong. SMILE at them, letting them know they can't bring you down- I guarantee that'll probably frustrate them at how they didn't succeed and will save you the trouble of retaliating.

Don't ever be ashamed of how you feel and respect and embrace every feeling. It is completely natural to feel upset sometimes. Cry it out and allow yourself to be upset- don't put pressure on yourself that you always have to feel happy and confident. You will have moments of self-doubt and where your self-esteem is lower. That is the way life works. What matters is that you can pick yourself up, that you will get through it. Crying doesn't make you weak, it makes you human. Most people have their own insecurities and it's natural not to always feel yourself.

Feeling comfortable in your own skin isn’t something that happens overnight and it took me years to get to a place where I could trust and have more faith in myself, but it is possible. Insecure 14/15 year old me who constantly doubted herself wouldn’t even recognise who I am today. I am sharing this with hope that this may help someone else and to share what allowed me to overcome something that held me back and stopped me doing so much. ❤️ To anyone reading this who feels like self confidence is something really far away and so distant- that was once me and I’m now at a much better place - you can do it too.

Read my update on self-confidence: Self confidence, a journey, not a result

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  1. Aw such a beautiful piece, I needed to read this today! It helped me to realise I'm on the right track :D looking forward to reading more of your blog! xx

    elizabeth ♡ ”Ice Cream” whispers Clara
    (I would love to follow each other on bloglovin if you like! :D)

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on my blog. I am so glad that it helped you! ❤️:) Will definitely check your blog out!


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