Dealing with unkind people

by - July 12, 2020

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Like most people, I feel I have had my fair share of coming across unkind people. Individuals that want to tear you down. It is inevitable - not everyone will like you and some people choose to consciously make or try and make others feel small. Over the years, I have found different ways of approaching and dealing with it and I am going to share what has helped me the most. This post is in relation to my previous post on bullying and are some of the things I incorporated into my life to deal with it better.

  1.  To all those people trying to bring you down- don't let them win! Do not give them the satisfaction of letting them know you are not feeling great. I have found this one of the most helpful mindsets in dealing with unkind people. Some individuals just want to see you miserable. Learn to realise you can rise above people who bring you down. Show them how HAPPY you are, how what they try and do doesn't affect you. I know this can be really hard to do, but at the end of the day what matters most is your reaction. You cannot control others actions, but you can control how you deal with it. You can have the last word by not giving in to the very thing they want to achieve- or at least even if you do feel upset, which is a very natural reaction not showing it to them. 

  2. Just because somebody says something about you does not mean it is true. We cannot control the way others see us. Some people will see you positively and some people will see you negatively no matter what you do. It is a losing battle trying to convince people who are unkind to you of your worth. Someone else failing to see your worth does not decrease it. What other people say about you are much more of a reflection of who they are as people rather than you. 

  3. To that person who told you you couldn't do it or aren't good enough - use it as a motivation to prove them wrong. Any time I have been told I could not cut it, I have tried to use that as fuel to highlight to them just how wrong they are. That does not mean not making mistakes along the way, but it is a way of showing that you are not a quitter. It is almost outdoing yourself in what you were going to do before. Make those people think twice before they doubt you again for no reason. 

  4. Some people just will not like you. It is not you. It is life. Some people are just nasty. There is not always an explanation behind it. Don’t agonise thinking about ways you could change for somebody that does not treat you right for no reason or at least a reason they will not let you know about. There are plenty of people who will value you for who you are to waste time on someone who does not. 

  5. Learn whose opinion you care about. As I have mentioned, there are some people who will always try to tear you down no matter what you do and for no real reason. Anything you do they will try and pick apart. But, are these really the people who you should be listening to anyway? People who you do not trust. You would not go to a stranger or someone you don't really trust for advice, so why take into consideration spiteful things they may say? People who chances are, have not even got to know you and do not have your interests at heart. Look at the people in your life and think of those you care about and those who love you for who you are- who care about you as a person. People whose intention is not to bring you down, but lift you up and give you constructive criticism - these are the people whose opinion you want to listen to.
    This is not an exhaustive list, but are some ideas and tactics that I have found helped me and hopefully you too will find them useful. We cannot control whether people treat us nicely or not, but we can make a conscious effort to spread kindness as much as we can and try and lessen the impact of unkind actions directed towards us. I would be happy to hear any methods you have found beneficial in the comments below.
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