Asking for help

by - October 04, 2020

Pink flower and a red flower, dots and polka dots in the background


I am one of those people that typically tends to want to sort things out myself. I think it can be good to try and find your way out of your own issues- or at least be proactive in solving your own problems. But, this doesn't and should not mean that you have to always do this by yourself. I can recognise that when it comes to my personal life, I don't like asking for help as I find it difficult to reach out. This is something I am still working on, but am hoping I can change. I hope that this blog post serves as a reminder that it is OK and healthy to ask for help, regardless of how big or small you think it might be.  

I think there is sometimes too much emphasis on the idea of being independent and your own boss all the time.  These things are great. However, I feel they sometimes can encourage an idea of "I am going to sort everything out by myself all of the time because I am an independent person". But, you can be independent and still ask for help from time to time. Being able to depend on yourself and trust yourself is important, but ultimately we all grow with the help of others. We would not be where we are without the guidance and support from people and we continue to learn through others constantly. Therefore, we can be independent and still acknowledge that we can be better with the aid of others. That we can get stuck and that doesn't make us any less smart. 

Especially when related to mental health, getting help is seen as embarrassing. Something to brush off, forget about or pretend never happened. Recognising your own limits is not only brave, but shows initiative and that you are willing to strive for better. I have said it on my blog before- opening up and seeking help when you are at your most vulnerable is beautiful and shows immense strength. It also is a time to connect to the human side in all of us- we all struggle. 

It can feel like everyone has their life together all the time making it nerve racking to ask for help. But, when I have been transparent about how I have felt and some of my struggles, most of the time, people relate. They tell me about how they have also felt/feel the same way. Often collectively we can give off the impression that we are coping well all of the time because we don't want to feel like the only one who is lost and finding things difficult. However, talking honestly about when I haven't felt like I have it all together with others has really shown me how often many others feel exactly like you do and are acting like they have everything sorted. You never know, asking for help and guidance might be the honesty that everyone needs to admit that they too could use a hand. 

Reach out and look for support if you need it - more often than not, you will find you are not the only one and that if you ask, people will be willing to help you. 

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