Realising when it is time to step away

by - February 02, 2020

Pastel pink graphic with polka dots and flowers


Feeling like an emotional sponge - I have been there too. Where it feels like you're always listening to others problems so much, you're engulfed by them. Almost like other's problems have become another problem to add to your own. I am writing this as a little self-care reminder, for myself and for anyone who needs to hear it. Because it can be really easy to get dragged into other people's issues when you are just trying to be a good friend and not even realise just how much of an impact those people and your surroundings are having on you. It can be hard to distinguish when it is important for you step away and when you need to be there for someone because they require support.

You are not a bad person if you take time out and choose to distance yourself from people that are just piling problems on top of you. Whilst you can support others and it is nice to, you are also a person that deserves to receive support for any difficult moments you may be going through. I find that when we feel other people's problems piling on us it is because we are doing so much listening and supporting others and you are not getting enough help for yours. That is where it becomes an unhealthy balance- and if it is always the case, then maybe they are just not the right friend for you and it might be time to let them go.

It can be really easy to put pressure on yourself to always be the only person for someone especially when someone confides in you and you become one of their only emotional releases. I have come to realise that you can be there for people and still choose to look after yourself. You are not letting someone down by also focusing on looking after yourself because it is just as important as you looking after them. If they can't recognise this, this is more a reflection of them going through a difficult period than a reflection on you not being a good friend. Everyone needs boundaries - everyone has boundaries- boundaries are healthy. There is a saying that you can't pour from an empty cup and it is true- you can't be other people's rock when they are going through a difficult time if you don't look after yourself because you will not be able to give your best. Being so caught up in other's difficult moments can make recognising when you are going through a hard time and when you need the support something that doesn't matter as much. But, it is just as important and you need to talk things through too.

So here is to realising when it is time to check in with yourself and focus a little more on your self-care as well as helping others. Because you deserve the exact same love you give out.

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4 Comments

  1. Love this post and your style of writing.

    I certainly let things pile up on my emotionally and it's sometimes hard to take a step back and realise not everything is my burdon to carry. I'm getting so much better at establishing boundaries recently though. It feels good to let some things go.

    Kate | thelittlecrunch.co.uk

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! I definitely relate to sometimes letting things pile up and it is so important to have people you can share things with that will also support you 💜

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  2. I am all about this post! I agree with you - there are times when too much is too much for us and that it is more worthwhile to walk away. I find friendship a 2-way street. You give and you take. If there is no middleground, it won't work out. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

    Nancy ♥ exquisitely.me

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    1. Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment :). You are right that friendship is a two way street and boundaries are necessary - you also deserve the support you give to others. 💕

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