Things I would say to my younger self

by - October 09, 2019

I always find these posts really interesting to read and it is a nice opportunity to reflect on what I have learnt and the different ways I've grown. So here is what I would tell my younger self.

1) True beauty lies in being authentic and being yourself. Taking inspiration from others is fine, but never feel the need to copy someone because the things that make you unique are what makes you special and sets you apart. Find your own style, your own way of thinking and try new things. Each of us are here to bring something different and the world would be boring if we were all the same so don't be afraid to be true to yourself.

2) You can rely on yourself. That doesn't mean that sometimes it will not go wrong - learn to trust yourself and acknowledge that you can get it done if you want to. Similarly to that, you can achieve so much more than you thought you could if you set your mind to things and just believe. You are more capable than you think you are.

3) Take small steps that are just outside of your comfort zone and remember very few things happen overnight. Building confidence takes time. There will come a time when you will feel comfortable in your own skin.

4) It is about the journey and not the result. Results won't always be what you want them to be, but in the journey lies the experience. Experience ultimately is one of the best things you can gain. It will teach you lessons and allow you to grow as a person as well as create memories. Memories that no one can take away from you. 

5) Go for it because you have nothing to lose - most of the time, the worst-case scenario is that you'll be told no, in which case you will be in the exact same position you are now.

6) It is okay not to be okay all the time - you will feel miserable and sad sometimes. Sometimes you will not even be able to pinpoint a reason. That is okay. Allow yourself to feel emotions - don't try and suppress them. Reflect on those emotions. Crying is fine. It does not make you weak. There is great strength in being vulnerable.

7) Some people will be unkind to you for no reason - it is a reflection of who they are as a person, not you. People's actions cannot be controlled and they don't always have a direct correlation to something you have done.

8) You are so very lucky and blessed in so many different ways. Be grateful for what you have and use it to ground you.

9) A lot of things in life are just stepping stones and everything is temporary. Yes, it feels like it is so important now, but in the grand scheme of things, it won't be. Certain events in your life are not as deciding as certain people will lead you to believe.

10) You don't need to worry so much about what the future holds. Take steps to try and improve your immediate future. The rest will fall into place. Most of the time, it will not look like what you thought, but everything happens for a reason - sometimes you just can't see it in the moment.

11) You have a story to tell and a voice. Everyone experiences things differently and your experience is valid. 

12) Your opinion is valuable so don't listen to those that tell you it isn't and that you shouldn't have it or share it. Speak what you think as you know you can justify it and don't be afraid to challenge others.

13) You are never alone - there will always be someone else experiencing something similar to you and there are people you can talk to. Not sharing problems does not help and bottling them up is unhealthy. Asking for help is okay - there is strength in doing so and it shows you have initiative.

14) Some things are just not worth the time and energy. Some people are not worth the stress. Pick your battles. At the end of the day, your happiness is the most important thing.

15) You do not have to conform to the labels that people put you in - you can be who you want to be. You are not just who others say you are. Identity is more complicated than that. 

16) A mistake or wrong decision does not define you. However, how you choose to approach and deal with a situation says a lot about you.

17) You are stronger than you think you are and you have stronger willpower than you think you do. Carrying on even when it doesn't feel okay and you are swimming against the tide is something you can do and you should be proud of yourself for not giving up and fighting until the end. There is strength in sharing weakness and vulnerability- being honest about your experience will allow you to connect with people and you will be appreciated for it.

18) Mindset changes everything. Trying to see the positive side of things is important. However, it is normal to not feel positive all of the time.

19) When people try and hurt you have the don't let them win mentality. Smile and show them how happy you are - it will probably frustrate them more and make you feel more content. How you feel and your happiness is what matters.

20) Say no to things you don't want to do, even if you feel pressured to - it shows character and you will feel better for it. It is your life after all and you are the one that will have to live with the consequences. You don't have to do anything that is massively out of your comfort zone which will make you feel more uncomfortable than you are ready for. Equally, recognise when you do want to do something, but you may be scared and say yes despite feeling nervous. You'll be glad and thank yourself for it later.

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